Quezi

Holy Mackerel! (photo manipulation by Lamerie - CC-BY)

The impact of an expletive comes from the timing and the tone of voice. It’s possible to achieve much the same effect with words that, in themselves, are bland enough for a superbowl commercial. Fake swearing is apparently also known as minced oaths or pseudo-profanity.

Back at high school I knew a guy who could say “Oh, Bother” with such an explosive emphasis on the word Bother that it alarmed everyone within earshot. Older folks might be heard saying “Oh my goodness!” when they don’t want to say “Oh my God!”, or perhaps “Jeepers!” instead of “Jesus!”, or “Darn!” instead of “Damn!”, or “heck” instead of “hell”.

Batman and Robin liked to exclaim “Holy Toledo!”. The holy city of Toledo (Spain) was the center for religious councils a thousand years ago. Merriam-Webster’s Open Dictionary describes Holy Toledo as a “vintage expression used to convey a state of surprise”. No kidding!

Holy Mackerel, I’d never use that interjection! Nor would I say “Holy Cow!”, “Holy Cheese!”, “Holy Majoly!”, “Holy Jammalamma” and “Holy Macaroni”.

Southern US phrases include “gol darn it”, “dag nab it” and “shoot!”. In children’s cartoons you might hear “Gadzooks”, which apparently originally referred to God’s hooks, the nails in Jesus’ crucifix.

More modern is “friggin” as an adjective. When I was at university, there was a General Studies lecturer who referred to the reproductive act as “fugging”. In England you might hear it called “effing” instead.

The expletive “frak” (or “frack”) was introduced in Battlestar Galactica, and is also seen as “fracking”, “frackable”, “cluster-frak” etc. Also found in science fiction is “frell” (Farscape) and “smeg” (Red Dwarf).

Composer names work well. If you stub your toe, try shouting out (with feeling) “Shostakovich!”. Or, for prolonged effect, emphasize the syllables of “Ludwig von Beethoven!”.

People from Australia might exclaim “Struth!”, which a hundred years ago was “Gorstruth”, and before that “God’s truth!”. But perhaps the most widespread modern fake swearing is emblazoned on clothing everywhere: FCUK.